Self-love is a lifelong practice
Self-love is the act of being present and attentive with yourself no matter what and being radically honest with how you’re feeling in every breath.
While self-love is a lifelong practice, Elizabeth DiAlto suggests that we can build a healthy foundation by practicing five principles.
1. Acceptance
2. Respect
3. Awareness
4. Knowledge
5. Trust
1. Acceptance, without it there is no real love.
-Be gentle and kind with yourself no matter what comes up.
-Forgive yourself (like a mother forgiving her child for doing the best they could.)
-Change your self-talk. Replace “I’m not doing enough, I don’t have enough, I’m not good enough” with “It is safe for me to be me. It is safe for me to be here. I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.”
2. Respect and honor yourself
-Practice setting healthy personal boundaries. Say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. (If it’s not a yes!, then it’s a no.)
-Reflect on your self-respect. “Where am I putting myself last?” and “What am I tolerating that I don’t want to be?”
-You are just as important as person in your life. You deserve attention and love. Give yourself more time than you normally do, just for you.
3. Awareness start with observation
-Implement the power of “the pause.” Notice things you don’t love about yourself with curiosity. Pause in those moments and ask, “What’s going on here?” Knowing what is not going well, you become able to work on it.
-Experiment with meditation. Turn your skill of observing others inward and observe your inner world by sitting still with your eyes closed.
-Practice deep breathing techniques.
4. Knowledge
-Explore who you are. Go beyond what other people have told you you’re supposed to be by answering the following questions in a journal: “Who am I?” and “What’s my truth?”
-Recognize that who you are in any moment can change. Give yourself more permission than usual to be someone different today than you were yesterday.
-You’re allowed to write your own story and it’s Ok to change your mind.
-Clarify your core values. What are your top five values?
5. Trust
-Allow others to have their own experiences. Experiment with releasing the need to control the behaviors of those you interact with. Stop trying to control everything and everyone.
-Put yourself out there. Trust that you are safe to express yourself in a bolder way than usual even if others don’t fully approve.
-Listen to your physical body. Trust that your body is always sending important signals. Try naming how you feel right now aloud.
Build a baseline of self-love by experimenting with those ideas. The art of self-love is a lifelong practice, so be easy with yourself and take it one day at a time.
Everything you need is inside of you.